Friday, December 13, 2013

Hidden Sony Press Release Announces 'Venom' 'Sinister Six' Movie Projects

 3-panel poster for ASM2 featuring 3 villains: already gearing up for the Sinister Six?

A URL hidden in the new 'Amazing Spider-Man 2' trailer leads to  When the lone image on the page is clicked, it leads to a PDF press release from Sony pictures here:

The release rather unceremoniously announces the expansion of the Spider-Man franchise to include a third titular film, along with standalone 'Venom' and 'Sinister Six' films.  It also announces the involvement of creatives Alex Kurtzman, Robert Orci, Jef Pinkner, Ed Soloman, and Drew Goddard. Goddard in particular, is an interesting choice as he has recently been announced as the head writer for the Marvel project 'Daredevil' for Netflix.  Maybe in the future there may be some wiggle-room rights-wise for a crossover event.

Body of the text:


Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, Jeff Pinkner, Ed Solomon, and Drew Goddard to Collaborate with

Marc Webb and Producers Avi Arad and Matt Tolmach

on Developing the Universe and Expanding the Story in
“The Amazing Spider-Man 3,” “Venom,” and “The Sinister Six”

CULVER CITY, Calif., December 12, 2013 In a move to forge a new legacy in the story of Peter Parker on screen, Sony Pictures Entertainment, in association with Marvel Entertainment, is developing several new projects in the Spider-Man franchise, with Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, Jeff Pinkner, Ed Solomon, and Drew Goddard to collaborate on overseeing the developing story over several films that will be produced by Avi Arad and Matt Tolmach, it was announced today by Doug Belgrad, president of Columbia Pictures, and Hannah Minghella, president of Production for the studio.

The five writers, along with the two producers and Marc Webb, have formed a franchise brain trust to expand the universe for the brand and to develop a continuous tone and thread throughout the films. Under the deals, the studio announced that Kurtzman & Orci & Pinkner are writing the screenplay for The Amazing Spider-Man 3, which the studio hopes Webb will return to direct; the film will go into production next fall for release on June 10, 2016. In addition, the team will build on the cinematic foundation laid by Webb, Arad, and Tolmach in the first two movies. They will expand the franchise as Kurtzman & Orci & Solomon will write the screenplay for Venom, which Kurtzman will direct; also, Goddard will write, with an eye to direct, The Sinister Six, focusing on the villains in the franchise. Hannah Minghella and Rachel O’Connor will oversee the development and production of these films for the studio.

In tapping these five writers, the studio and the producers are guiding the future of the franchise with the writer/producers who have each played significant and key roles in developing such highly successful franchises, films, and series as Star Trek, Transformers, “Alias,” “Fringe,” Men in Black, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, World War Z, “Lost,” Cloverfield, The Cabin in the Woods, and Marvel’s upcoming “Daredevil” series.

Commenting on the announcement, Belgrad said, “The Spider-Man film franchise is one of our studio’s greatest assets. We are thrilled with the creative team we have assembled to delve more deeply into the world that Marc, Avi and Matt have begun to explore in The Amazing Spider-Man and The Amazing Spider-Man 2. We believe that Marc, Alex, and Drew have uniquely exciting visions for how to expand the Spider-Man universe in each of these upcoming films.”

Arad and Tolmach added, “This collaboration was born out of the great experience we and Marc had working with Alex, Bob, and Jeff on The Amazing Spider-Man 2. With more than fifty years’ wealth of stories in the comic books to draw upon for inspiration, the Spider-Man universe is truly boundless; in addition, the Spider-Man comics have the greatest rogues gallery of any series, and to have the chance to explore that on film is truly thrilling. Until now, we have approached each film as a separate, self-contained entity, but with this move, we have the opportunity to grow the franchise by looking to the future as we develop a continuous arc for the story. That is what Alex, Bob, Jeff, Ed, and Drew will do in this unprecedented collaboration, and we’re excited about the directions they are taking the character and the world.”

The most successful franchise in the history of Columbia Pictures, Spider-Man is embraced all over the world. The four Spider-Man films to date have taken in over $3.2 billion worldwide. Spider-Man, Venom, The Sinister Six and other Spider-Man related characters are licensed to Sony by Marvel Entertainment.

So, a hidden release definitely meant to be found... just not widely publicized and released yet.  Exciting news for the franchise, and it explains some of the speculation around the number of villains featured in the new trailer and movie poster for ASM 2.

Exciting stuff

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Doctor Who Christmas Special 2013 Trailer: The Time of the Doctor

New trailer for 'The Time of the Doctor', the 2013 Doctor Who Christmas Special.  Get your first look at Matt Smith's last appearance as the Doctor.  Right off the bat, we can see Cybermen, the Silence, the Weeping Angels, and the Daleks (of course).  So it's set to be an exciting send off for Eleven.

As always, the special airs on Christmas Day, at 9:00 pm on BBC America.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Gal Godot Confirmed as Wonder Woman

Gal Gadot has been confirmed for the role of Wonder Woman in the yet untitled 'Batman vs. Superman' movie, reports Variety.  From the article, director Zack Snyder states:
Wonder Woman is arguably one of the most powerful female characters of all time and a fan favorite in the DC Universe. Not only is Gal an amazing actress, but she also has that magical quality that makes her perfect for the role. We look forward to audiences discovering Gal in the first feature film incarnation of this beloved character
This confirms previous rumors that she was up for the part along with Olga Kurylenko.  Gadot had previously appeared in 'The Fast and the Furious 6'and 'Fast Five'.

Gal Gadot, Wonder Woman

While she wouldn't have been my personal first choice, I'm sure Gadot will step into the role.  She certainly has the looks (she was Miss Israel in 2004), she'll just need to add more muscle to her frame. My only concern at this point is overcrowding of heroes in the film.  But, I'll reserve judgement until we see the finished product.

The film is scheduled to release July 17, 2015.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Archer Season 5 Poster Goes Full Miami Vice

I can hear the Phil Collins drums in my mind

Yet another promo for Archer season 5.  This one plays off of the iconic 80's style from 'Miami Vice'. Keep bringing it, Archer creators, because I love it.  The Top Gun spoof, Archer in a white blazer, I want more.  What's next?  Krieger creating a live version of his virtual girlfriend a la 'Weird Science'?  

Aaah, Krieger-san

Can't wait for the season to premiere January 13.

Monday, November 25, 2013

'X-Men: Days of Future Past' Magneto Assassinated JFK Conspiracy Video

New viral video for Days of Future Past, alledging Magneto altered the trajectory of a bullet fired by Lee Harvey Oswald, murdering the president.  Well-timed, considering the 50th anniversary of the Kennedy assassination.

and the website they tease leads to    

Nice to see somebody having lots of fun promoting DOFP and getting creative in their world-building.  It's an encouraging sign considering how many characters and story lines they'll have to work into the movie.

Top Hot LEGO Sets for Christmas 2013 Season

LEGOs are perhaps more popular than ever.  So it's no surprise to see LEGO on every 2013 Christmas hot toy list.  The only real question here is which sets are going to be hard to find this season.  Well, I'm here to help and give you an idea of what's hot in the world of LEGO as we enter into Black Friday and the final stretch to Xmas.

1.  Minecraft Micro World - The Village - 21105

Maybe the most obvious licensed LEGO property of all-time.  The Minecraft video game is essentially a LEGO video game, so it only makes sense that it crosses over to the real thing.  This is the second Minecraft set released, and features a pig, zombie, and villager buildable minifigs.  The set clocks in at 466 pieces and a retail price of $34.99.  Not bad for a mid-range priced model, you might be thinking.  However, the nature of the Minecraft sets is lots of little pieces and tiles, so the actual size of the completed set is smaller than you might imagine from the piece count.  But with the popularity of the game, this set has been among the top sellers since its release and remains a hot set for Christmas.  Two other Minecraft sets are out, 21102 and 21106 (21102 features the best-known characters Steve and a Creeper), but this seems to be the hottest one right now.  That said, any one of these will please a Minecraft fan.

2. The DeLorean Time Machine - 21103

Never sleep on the popularity of Back to the Future.  This one appeals to kids and adult fans of the movies alike.  Selected by LEGO Cuusoo for a custom release, this has proven to be a hot seller this season.  This set clocks in at 401 pieces and a $34.99 retail, and works equally well as a toy in the playroom, or a display piece on a shelf.  It also comes with Marty McFly and Doc Brown minifigs.  

3.  Legends of Chima - The Lion CHI Temple - 70010

The first big set on the list.  Chima has been a popular line for LEGO, with a tv series on Cartoon Network to promote the sets.  The Lion CHI Temple clocks in at 1258 pieces and a $119.99 retail price.  It also includes a whopping 7 minifigs and is over 1 foot high!  This set serves as the main base for the Lion tribe and features a tower cannon and lion claw bike and eagle drone fighter vehicles.  The Chima sets really benefit from detailed mini figure characters and lots of character accessories.  This particular set is no different and serves as a full playset form which to base adventures!  Just be warned, this one is a complicated build and might require help from a parent.

4.  Castle King's Castle - 70404

Another big set, and this one's a bit of a throwback.  Not a licensed property, just a good old fashioned medieval LEGO set.  A good choice for a child who loves LEGO, but may not be a fan of Chima or Ninjago.  This set comes in at 996 pieces with a $99.99 retail.  Comes with 7 minifigs as well as a catapult and battering ram.  Comes in at just about a foot high, so slightly smaller than the Chima Temple and $20 cheaper.  The construction is more straight-forward than some of the licensed sets, and maybe more versatile as a general medieval setting for LEGO adventure.  A great purchase idea especially if mom and dad are big Game of Thrones fans!

5.  Friends Dolphin Cruiser - 41015

A set that's become increasingly hard to find, despite being released within the last few months.  Designed to appeal to children who may not be interested in catapults, missiles, and space monsters, the Dolphin Cruiser is a luxury yacht complete with jet ski and even some friendly dolphins.  Playsets are nice for big xmas gifts, but LEGO really shines when given the opportunity to design vehicles.  This set is no exception and measures 14 inches long.  The top of the yacht lifts off to expose living areas and it even has a water slide!  The set comes in at 612 pieces and a $69.99 retail, although as often happens around this time of the year, there are reports of resellers snapping this set up and selling online for as much as $95. (check out this Amazon page LEGO Friends Dolphin Cruiser)  So if this one is on your list, don't hesitate to buy early.


And as always, the current series 11 Minifigures blind pouches always make great stocking stuffers and offer unique characters.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Special 'Day of the Doctor' Promo Picture

Doctors, conveniently standardized to the same height

Sneak peek at the Doctors from the 50th Anniversary special.  Along with David Tennant and Matt Smith, Paul McGann reprises his role as the 8th Doctor and John Hurt appears as a previously unknown incarnation of the Doctor.

Nice to see McGann back after his lone appearance on film in the tv movie.  And John Hurt should make for a good Doctor.  Also slated to reappear is Billie Pier, former companion with David Tennant and Chris Eccleston, although it is not confirmed that she will be playing Rose Tyler as we know her.

'Day of the Doctor' airs on Novermber 23 at 2:50 EST on BBC America.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Archer Danger Zone Music Video Season 5 Promo

Can't wait until the new year for a new season of Archer?  Maybe this new promo clip can hold you over.

It's pretty much perfect, basically creating an Archer shot-by-shot remake of the 'Top Gun' trailer.  Couldn't be more excited for the new season of Archer to start in January.  

yes, they included the teeth chomp

Until then I'll have to hunker down in Fort Kickass.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

First Look at Benicio Del Toro as The Collector from 'Thor: The Dark World'

Benicio Del Toro as an immortal space Elvis

You know the drill by this point.  New Marvel movie, new teaser post-credits scene.  

This one features Benicio Del Toro as The Collector.  Teasing his role in next summer's 'Guardians of the Galaxy' and perhaps foreshadowing a storyline for Avengers 3 (Infinity Gauntlet anyone?).  

The Collector is an Elder of the Universe in Marvel comics lore.  He is about as old as the universe itself and virtually immortal.  He has set up a collection of beings and artifacts as a failsafe against a vision of the future in which all life is destroyed.  One of these items is the aether from 'Thor: The Dark World', revealed here to be an infinity gem.

So, that's one infinity gem.  Another is revealed to be in Asgard's treasure room (either the tesseract or the gem placed into Loki's scepter in 'The Avengers').  That's two.  There are 6 gems total, which when put together create the infinity gauntlet.  This item has the power to unmake all life in the universe  and has long been the ultimate goal sought by Thanos.  

Who is Thanos, you may ask?  

Universal terror, Thanos

Thanos is the purple gentleman from the post-credits scene in 'The Avengers'.  Thanos is an Eternal in the comics (not as old as The Collector) who is constantly trying to court and impress Mistress Death.  And what better way is there to impress Death?  Destroy all life in the universe.  Thanos is powerful, but not powerful enough to accomplish this feat on his own.

So it would seem Marvel has set the table for an ultimate showdown with the Earth heroes and Thanos over the infinity gauntlet and the fate of the universe.  This is probably a few years down the line, maybe a potential storyline for 'Avengers 3', but it's awesome Marvel is thinking so far ahead to tie in all of their movies.  And I'm sure 'Guardians of the Galaxy' and phase 2 will expand this even further.

So these post-credits scenes might not make a whole lot of sense yet, but one day they will.  And on that day you'll have to tip your hat to the planning ability of Kevin Feige and the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Moto X Commercial Song - 'Little Green Bag' by George Baker Selection

This dog is cooler than I am

Been seeing a lot of the new Motorola Moto X commercial lately.  Totally customizable phone colors are cool I guess, but the thing that stands out to me in the commercial is that song.   It's got a vintage swagger kind of sound and just oozes cool.

The song is 'Little Green Bag' by George Baker Selection.  It was recorded in 1969, but only charted in the US in 1992 upon its use in the  film 'Reservoir Dogs'.

I knew I'd heard it before but couldn't place it until I did some digging.

Should be noted that there is also a version of this song featuring the song "Black Skinhead' by Kanye West.  Also good, but I like the 'Little Green Bag' version better.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Timberlake joins the Star-Studded 5-Timers Club on SNL

One thing SNL does best is welcoming back old friends.  Last night was Justin Timberlake's fifth time hosting the show.  This puts him into an exclusive club of hosts that includes Christopher Walken, Tom Hanks, John Goodman, and others.  Basically all of the hosts who were funny enough to have been cast members themselves.

It also brought back the traditional Five-Timers Club skit, and the stars that come with it.  Check it out:

The returning stars were:  Paul Simon, Steve Martin, Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase, Martin Short, Alec Baldwin, Tom Hanks, and Candice Bergen.  Steve Martin in particular always cracks me up in these.  He plays the pretentious club member all too well.  Also coming back for an iteration of the "Dick in a Box" skit was Andy Samberg, his first appearance back since he left the show last season.

I look forward to Jon Hamm's future induction.

Friday, March 8, 2013

The SimCIty Fiasco

I'm not going to rehash all of the problems with the release so far.  I'm just going to post this perfect in-game representation of Sim fans' opinion of EA.

What a well-designed city.  I think we'll name it EA

Apparently the single-player gaming experience is dead and buried for AAA titles.  From now on it'll just be forced online social integration.  And if you think this is just and isolated thing, check out the Facebook integration planned for the PS4. (Kotaku)  I can't believe people actually want these kind of features

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

'The Hold Steady' to Perform Song in 'Game of Thrones' Season 3

A Battle-Scarred Tyrion Lannister

Indie Rock band 'The Hold Steady' will perform a song with lyrics by George RR Martin himself this season on 'Game of Thrones'.  The band will perform the jaunty tavern tune "The Bear and Maiden Fair", lyrics penned by Martin and music composed by the show's composer Ramin Djawadi.

This isn't new territory for the show as another indie band, 'The National' performed the somber "The Rains of Castemere" during season 2.  Pretty cool for the showrunners to do stuff like this, although I'm sure there was no shortage of talent willing to participate.  But it really lends depth and character to the world created for the show.  I love the touches like this, especially for "The Rains of Castemere" which plays a big role in such a pivotal scene in the books.

Lyrics to "The Bear and the Maiden Fair":
A bear there was,
A bear, A BEAR!
All black and brown,
And covered with hair 
Oh come they said,
Oh come to the fair!
The fair? said he,
But I’m a bear!
All black and brown,
And covered in hair! 
And down the road,
From here to there,
From here!To there!
Three boys, a goat,
And a dancing bear!
They danced and spun,
All the way to the fair! 
Oh! sweet she was,
And pure and fair,
The maid with honey,
In her hair! Her hair,
The maid with honey,
in her hair! 
The bear smelled the scent,
On the summer air!
The Bear! The Bear!
All black and brown,
And covered with hair!
He smelled the scent,
On the summer air,
He sniffed and roared,
And smelled it there!
Honey on the summer air! 
Oh I’m a maid,
And I’m pure and fair,
I’ll never dance,
With a hairy bear,
A bear! A bear!
I’ll never dance,
With a hairy bear! 
The bear,the bear!
Lifted her high,
into the air!
The bear, the bear! 
I called for a knight!
But you’re a bear!
A bear! A bear,
All black and brown,
And cover in hair! 
She kicked and wailed,
The maid so fair,
But he licked the honey,
From her hair!
Her hair! Her hair!
He licked the honey,
From her hair! 
Then she sighed and squealed,
And kicked the air,
She sang: My bear so fair,
And off they went,
The bear! The bear!
And the maiden fair!

So get hyped, because season 3 starts March 31st at 9pm EST on HBO. Which means more of the enchanting Rose Leslie as Ygritte.

Rose Leslie as Ygritte

 Can't wait until then?  Check out this Season 3 extended trailer:

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Comic Book TV Shows

There's no doubt one of the hottest trends in Hollywood over the past 5-10 years has been the Superhero blockbuster.  They seem to be unflappable; from the lower budget, but still profit-turning fare like Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengenace (seemed like a flop, but it grossed $132 million with a budget of $57 mil) all the way up to the mega-success The Avengers.  It doesn't take a genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist to see their almost unlimited potential.

That said, it baffles me as to why Marvel won't go the route of a superhero tv show.  I know they have  S.H.I.E.L.D. show in the works, but why not go further.  The groundwork is all there.  Disney owns Marvel.  Disney owns ABC.  ABC is constantly searching for hour-long dramas that will draw an audience.  The already used Disney properties for the fairy-tale hit Once Upon a Time.  Why not option a superhero show?  CGI effects have gotten better looking and cheaper to do.  There's no shortage of superheroes in the Marvel stable that aren't quite big enough for movies, but could easily carry a tv audience.  Seems like a perfect opportunity to make it happen.

It's worked in the past

Heck, DC already had successes in the recent past with Smallville and now Arrow (which both air(ed) on the CW network, owned by Warner Bros., which conveniently also owns DC Comics).  For God's sake, Smallville ran for 10 seasons.  10!  Even further back, Marvel found success with The Incredible Hulk.  Sci-Fi's Alphas has a nice audience with original un-licensed heroes.  It can and does work.

Batma...err... Green Arrow

Let's look at Arrow.  The Green Arrow isn't a marquee superhero.  He's a guy with no powers.  He's just an excellent archer. He doesn't fight planet-level threats, he's more of a street-level hero.  He's pretty much a low-rent Batman with a bow.  All aspects that lend themselves better to a tv show rather than a big-screen movie.

So, here's my pitch for a Marvel superhero tv show:

Luke Cage and Iron Fist: Heroes for Hire

Try and guess which one is the Iron Fist

Two street-level superheroes.  One a martial arts expert with a Batman-esque personal history (rich, dead parents).  The other a reformed drug dealer with super strength and impenetrable skin. They formed an unlikely partnership and decide to put their skills to use helping those who's problems aren't big enough for the likes of The Avengers, but are too much for the cops to handle.  New cases each week with some overarching plots.  Think of each episode like it's own comic issue.  

The effects aren't hard to do on tv... martial arts with the occasional flaming fist or foot.  And super strength is easy to accomplish with light cgi or wires.  (Heck Sci-Fi's Alphas does super strength on a shoe-string budget just fine)  Let's face it, Power Man and Iron fist are likely never getting a big movie.  They'd be side characters in a Daredevil film at best.  But on tv they can shine.  The show sets up like a cop drama serial, but with more interesting villains (Kingpin as a Mastermind?).  And again, there's no shortage of B-C-list villains to use.  Plus you have the added personal drama of Luke Cage being a married Superhero with an infant child.   

If this had been titled 'The Incredibles', would it have tanked?

Now I know ABC already tried their hand with No Ordinary Family, which flopped.  But that series was too light-hearted, and it had no name recognition.  This would be grittier, and have known heroes.  NBC's Heroes was great for a season.  The problem there was they didn't stick with the plan of following totally new heroes for the second season, which hurt the planned storyline.  Then the writer's strike finally killed any interesting plot lines.  

Good show gone wrong

Now, I'm clearly biased being a comic book fan.  And I know a lot of people are getting plain sick of the superhero movie trend.  But come on, why not take a chance on a new medium.  Successful tv shows don't have to be Shakespeare.  Do you know what the top-rated dramas on tv are? ...


NCIS and CSI: Los Angeles

Put it on at 8:00 and you'll draw viewers who are kids, kids at heart, and a lot of the people who'll watch cop shows in general.  I don't think any kids watch NCIS.  Marc Harmon isn't that popular. 

So come on Disney/ABC execs, let's actually use some of those assets.  

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

New Looks at Upcoming Amazing Spider-Man 2 Movie

Seems like there's been a lot leaked this week about 'Amazing Spider-Man 2'.  It had previously been announced that Jamie Foxx will play the villain Electro and Paul Giamatti will portray The Rhino.  Now we're seeing that Peter Parker will don a new and improved costume, one closer to the comic version than in the previous film.
New costume on the left

Note in particular the eyes on the costume.  I think with the first film being an origin, the costume was meant to look more homemade and amateurish.  Presumably in the sequel Spider-Man will be an established hero who's had a little more time to work on his outfit.  I love the new look, a lot closer to the comic version.  Definitely more of a "friendly neighborhood Spider-Man", one who looks like he could crack a joke as he's cracking bad guys' bones rather than looking angry and angsty.

Shailene Woodley with red hair for her role as Mary Jane Watson

Also released this week were some off-set photos of Shailene Woodley with red hair for her portrayal of Mary Jane Watson.  Woodley had previously garnered attention for her role in 'The Descendants'.  I know what you're thinking, "I thought Mary Jane was supposed to be some model knockout!".  Relax, the paps just caught Shailene on an off day.  She cleans up quite nicely:

But you can get an idea of how she'll look in the movie.  I just wonder what they'll do with her character. Will Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy break up so soon after the first film?  Will something happen to Gwen?!  We'll have to wait and see.

Also confirmed for the cast, is British actress Felicity Jones.  At this point it's only speculation as to which role she'll play, but rumor has it she'll play Felicia Hardy, friend of Peter's who eventually becomes the Black Cat.  Whether the Cat will show up in the movie or just Felicia is also up in the air.  As a villain/anti-hero/ love interest of Spidey, adding her to the mix in this film could make for a little too much of a tangled web.
Felicity Jones as Felicia Hardy?

The Black Cat

Also joining the cast as a new character is Dane DeHann, who was excellent as the main character in 'Chronicle'.  He'll play the role of Harry Osborn, who had been portrayed in the original franchise by James Franco.  We know he eventually becomes a villain, but was first Peter's friend.  I can't imagine he'll be anything more than that in this film. 

Dane DeHann as Harry Osborn

With all of these new characters being introduced as well as Jamie Foxx and Paul Giamatti, already announced as the villains, it's clear the producers are already setting up for a third film.  

I like the casting choices, love the new costume.  It'll be interesting to hear what the real plot of this film will be as production moves further along towards its release in 2014.  I just hope we don't end up with a jumbled mess of tangential plotlines and too many villains like the third Raimi film.  

Monday, February 25, 2013

Half-Baked Movie Ideas: The Right to Bear Arms

Now I know the Second Amendment has been a hot-button issue lately, so I've got a great new idea for a movie... bear with me on this one.

Jim Ursus is a hotshot cop on the rise in the FBI.  He's working a case on the heels of some illegal arms dealers.  He's tracked them do a distribution center located high in the Rocky Mountains where he's doing surveillance.  Representatives from a Miami drug cartel are there to broker a deal for some high-powered automatic rifles.  Jim witnesses a cartel member testing the guns out on some of the local wildlife.  It tears a grizzly bear apart.

Outraged, Jim lets out a muffled groan.  In an instant he's sealed his fate; the gun runners heard him.  Jim calls for backup but they're too far out.  Before they can assist him, the head Cartel member gets his hands on Agent Ursus.  In a Robocop-level display of graphic violence, the Cartel member shoots round after round into Jim's upper limbs as he writhes in pain.  "Let that be a lesson to your Feds, chico.  You can't lay a finger on us", quips the Miami drug enforcer.

Backup finally arrives all too late.  Jim's near death, nothing left of his arms but ground beef.  Something drastic needs to be done to save his life.  "Too much blood loss, we have to act NOW"  shouts an FBI doctor.  Desperate for a solution, the doctor surveys the scene.  He eventually lays eyes on the slaughtered grizzly bear, "God help us, this might just work."

Waking from the trauma, Agent Ursus is groggy.  He reaches for a glass of water and knocks it clumsily to the ground, only to discover...


Oh, just think of the puns you could make with this grizzled veteran as he hunts for revenge against illegal arms dealers/drug cartels.

Tell me this wouldn't be an amazingly great bad movie.  It has everything:  it's topical, it'll have great action scenes, exotic locales, a guy with bear arms, either a nurse/veterinarian/wildlife preservationist love interest, we'll try to throw Steven Seagal in there somewhere.  It would run at 3:00am on crappy cable channels FOREVER.  

I'll be waiting for your calls studio execs.

Back from the Dead?

Can a zombie blog come back from the dead?  Sure.  I know I haven't posted anything since October, but I'm hoping to get back to it with at least a post a week.