Tagged: I'm It

I got tagged by BonafideJones  yesterday.  Thought I might have skirted this trend, but alas.  The rules for those uninitiated:

The Rules
Rule #1: Put the rules on your blog
Rule #2: Every person tagged should tell 11 things about themselves, answer the 11 questions asked by the one that tagged you, tag 11 other people and ask them 11 different questions.
Rule #3: Let the people whom you tagged know you've done so.
Rule #4: Don't tag anyone who's been tagged before
Rule #5: Really do tag 11 others, don't go all "if you want to take this tag".

11 things about myself
1.  I'm my own grandpa.

Oh, many, many years ago when I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her and soon the two were wed

This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life
For my daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife
To complicate the matter though it really brought me joy
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy

This little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad
And so became my uncle though it made me very sad
For if he was my uncle then that also made him brother
Of the widow's grown-up daughter who of course is my step-mother 

My father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run
And he became my grandchild for he was my daughter's son
My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue
Because although she is my wife she's my grandmother too

Now if my wife is my grandmother then I'm her grandchild
And every time I think of it it nearly drives me wild
For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw
As husband of my grandma I am my own grandpa

2.   In a rec hockey league, I once took my skate off and tried to stab somebody with it.  I'm the only guy to ever do that.

3.  I once ate 50 hard-boiled eggs in one hour.

4.  The mnemonic device I use to remember the 12 cranial nerves is : Ooh Ooh Ooh, To Touch And Feel A Girl's Vagina, Ah Heaven.  It was taught to me by a 64-year-old female biology professor.

5.  I love ska music, even though it hasn't been popular since the late 90's.

6.  My favorite place I've ever traveled to is Old Town in Dubrovnik, Croatia.  I'd love to go back.

7.  I am perfectly at ease during awkward silences.

8.  I'm really bad at talking on the phone.  I tend to make a lot of my conversational decisions based on reading the face of the person I'm talking to, their mood, and their reactions to things said.  I'm very good at reading people.  I also make a lot of quick observational/contextual jokes.  I can be quite charming face to face.  On the phone I'm just lost.  It's pretty bad.  The conversation usually drags, then I start looking for other things to do while on the phone.  I've had a long-distance relationship fall apart basically because of this.

9.  Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants.

10.  I know why hot dogs come in packs of 10, but hot dog buns only come in packs of 8.

11.  I am a notorious prevaricator.

The 11 Questions for Me


1.  Q: Have you ever cheated on someone?
A: No

2.  Q:  What do you think happens when we die?
A: I'd like to think that our consciousness goes on in some form, but realistically that's probably not the case.  I love this quote from Dr. Neil DeGrasse Tyson:

"Recognize that the very molecules that make up your body, the atoms that construct the molecules, are traceable to the crucibles that were once the centers of high mass stars that exploded their chemically rich guts into the galaxy, enriching pristine gas clouds with the chemistry of life. So that we are all connected to each other biologically, to the earth chemically and to the rest of the universe atomically. That’s kinda cool! That makes me smile and I actually feel quite large at the end of that. It’s not that we are better than the universe, we are part of the universe. We are in the universe and the universe is in us."

I tend to think that in this sense our death really just results in an 'ashes to ashes, dust to dust' scenario, but that dust goes places.

3.  Q: If male, are you happy with the size of your penis?  If female do you think you are pretty?
A: I've never had any complaints, so sure.

4.  Q: Stars. Old light or new?
A:  This one is actually pretty cut and dry.  The light is old.  The light we see from stars is limited by the speed of light, 3.00 x 10^8 m/s.  A light year is defined as the distance light travels in a vacuum in one Julian year.  One light year is equal to roughly 6 trillion miles, or 10 trillion kilometers.  The closest star to our solar system (closest star to our sun) is Proxima Centauri, 4.2421 light years away.  The light we see as that star in the night sky originated at Proxima Centauri roughly 4.2421 years ago.  Similarly, the light from our sun is about 8 minutes old by the time it reaches us.

5.  Q: For a million dollars would you kill another person?  They aren't really that important and you will not get caught.
A:  I'd like to think I wouldn't take the money.  But realistically it would probably depend on how personal/impersonal the method of killing would be.

6.  Q:  Should all religions be treated/respected equally?
A: Sure.  In terms of the belief set.  Who am I to question the beliefs/faith of someone else?  I can't say one set of beliefs is correct or more correct than any other, especially if they all share the same basic moral codes.  So in that sense they should all be treated with equal respect.  In terms of the religious institutions/hierarchy I'm a little more dubious, but they should certainly all be treated with the same skepticism.  The true grey area comes in when you question the definitions of a religion.  Is the Church of Scientology considered a religion?  I don't know.  If someone tomorrow starts gathering followers based based on radical beliefs set around cannibalism that goes against the generally accepted moral code, do we consider that a religion?  Maybe that was a bad example as Christianity has symbolic cannibalism at the base of its transubstantiation and communion rituals...
tl; dr: yes.

7.  Q: Think of something embarrassing that you did that makes you cringe every time it crosses your mind.  What is it?
A: I did choir in elementary school, and we used to sing at Mass.  I got picked to do a solo right around the time my voice started to change, in front of a huge crowd.  And it sounded pretty much like you'd expect.  I knew it sounded awful, and everybody else must have, but they all acted like it was fine.  Awful.

8.  Q:  If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?  It doesn't matter whether or not they would want to see you.
A: If it's just one person, I'd rather not say.  This is too hard a question to answer.

9.  Q: Would you rather lose all your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
A: I'm a very sentimental person, so I'd probably choose to keep my old memories.  In addition, your memories make you who you are.  You'd have no identity, no personality, no moral compass, etc. if you totally wiped out your old memories.  You'd be a totally blank slate moving forward.  That seems terrible.

10.  Q:  If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don't like and like so many things we don't do?
A:  A big part of this is because it's a necessary part of how our civilization functions.  Ideally everyone would just go and do whatever they want all the time.  Civilization would collapse.  Like the saying "the world needs ditch-diggers too".  There are a lot of jobs/tasks that no one really wants to do, but are necessary to maintain our society and civilization.  Does anyone really want to be a janitor?  No, but we need them.  So it boils down to doing things that we need to do but don't want to do, to provide the means for the things we really want to do. (ie money, mostly).  That's the broad sense.  In a more personal sense, like aspects of our personality/ bad habbits, I think that is more of a weakness thing.  A lot of the time human nature is to take the easy way out of things.  In the moment you're ok with it, but after the fact you don't like what you've done/how you acted.

As to the 'like things we don't do' part, I think a lot of that comes from a fear of the unknown and a grass is always greener thing.  It's great to say, "I want to go travel through Europe for a year" or whatever, but there's a big fear of the unknown there.  Can I really just quit my job?  Will I have enough money?  What would I do when the year is up?  It's a hard thing to do to make that leap.

11.  Q:  If Hollywood made a movie about your life, what actor do you think would be cast to play you?
A:  Daniel Day Lewis.  That guy could be convincing in any role.  Also, any on-screen shouting of mine would sound awesome.


This ended up taking a lot longer than I would have liked.  It also ended up being really long, so I'm going to do my questions and make my picks tomorrow.  Stay tuned for part 2.